Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
