New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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