She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
