i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
