apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
