I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Screwed.edu
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
