I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
