Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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