my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
