Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
