you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
