i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
