Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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