Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
