You can't motorboat a personality
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
