Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
