he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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