im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
