Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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