There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i believe in u and ur pee
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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