Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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