real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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