pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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