me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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