we're chasing vodka with high fives
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
