i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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