So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
