I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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