i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
