i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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