don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
