operation harelip BJ is a go
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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