Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
