i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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