Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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