I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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