Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
