Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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