85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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