if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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