he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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