i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
