spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You are a genius and a whore.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
