i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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