He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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