420 ftw
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
