You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
