I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
