So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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