I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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