# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
