hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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