Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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