He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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