She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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