i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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