Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point