: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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