I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
Randomize
