omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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