We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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