I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
