If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
