i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
