apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
