Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
