Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Say something about gay babies.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
